


Enough

by the_dread_e



Series: Lonesome [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21772654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dread_e/pseuds/the_dread_e
Summary: Hermann wasn't enough for Newton, but he wants to be now.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Series: Lonesome [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569118
Kudos: 17





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> A companion piece to "Lonesome" from Hermann's perspective.

There are good days and bad days. Dr. Hermann Gottlieb does his best to spin any given day as good. He never would have described himself as an optimist before, but then the situation is unprecedented. It’s forward progress. It’s recovery. It’s not going to happen overnight. Hermann has to make the PPDC understand those facts even if it destroys everything that he’s created for himself. If he’s honest, because he wasn’t before, none of it matters if Dr. Newton Geizsler isn’t safe and whole at his side. 

Hermann had been lucky to have been on the other side of the glass when Newton woke up. Despite months of petitions and desperate legal finagling, the PPDC had refused to grant him access. He was to focus on opening a portal to the Precursor home world with the information he was given. 

Hermann knew where that information was coming from. He had nightmares about how they were getting it. He had managed to hack into the transcripts from those sessions, but Hermann hadn’t been able to read much of it. From what he could stomach, the Precursors had been all too happy to let their host endure the interrogations. Newton was able to fight through and give snippets of what he could remember when the abuse became too much for him to bear. 

And so, the plan was completed. The counter offensive launched. And Hermann didn’t care. He played his part. Oversaw what he needed to, but all he could think of was Newton. Newton had been tortured for the information Hermann used to help the PPDC take the fight to the Precursors. Newton was still locked in a cell somewhere in the bowels of the Shatterdome. 

What had Hermann done? Hermann acted as the good little soldier and did his job. He knew what had happened in Newton's room. He knew, but what had he done to stop it? 

Not enough. He told himself this constantly. For ten years, he hadn’t done enough. 

When the battle was won, Hermann stopped asking permission. He found a way to destroy the brain found in Newton’s apartment. That fleshy organ haunted Hermann. He could feel its tendrils curling around the corners of his dreams. He could only imagine its hold on Newton. For all Hermann knew, after the Precursors were defeated, this brain was all that was left of the hivemind. His hypothesis seemed correct, though Hermann took no solace in being right. As he watched the thing burn, he was told that Newton was unconscious in his cell. 

Fast as he could, Hermann raced through the Shatterdome. His leg screamed at him to slow down, but he refused. The fight was over. Newton’s information was no longer necessary. No one stopped Hermann from barreling inside and releasing Newton’s limb body from the chair he’d been locked in. 

Hermann should have been here instead of feeding his desire for revenge by watching the brain burn. Perhaps he could have talked Newton through it. He could have kept the man present by offering something to hold on to. Once again, Hermann hadn’t done enough. 

Hermann was almost being able to lift Newton’s body himself. The man had lost what little remained of his softness while locked in that room, and Hermann worried he wouldn’t be able to get it back. He screamed at the officials looming beyond the door to call for medical. As he waited for the team to arrive, Hermann noted each hurt on Newton’s body. He would make it his personal mission to see them all healed. 

The trip to medical was long. Hermann made sure they ran every test they could. In between, he found a first aid kit and despite the protestations of the staff, cleaned and dressed each wound he could find. Hermann was glad Newton was unconscious for most of it. He used quite a bit of antiseptic, especially on Newton’s ankles and wrists. The metal of his restraints hadn’t been forgiving, so when it was suggested that Newton be trussed up once more, Hermann refused to allow it. He argued until his throat was raw. It would be enough this time. 

After the tests, it was determined that there was no detectable presence of the Precursors left in Newton’s mind, but there had been damage done. No one could say for sure if Newton would wake up or what he would remember, but his basic body functions were still working. As a compromise to Hermann, and backed up by newly minted hero Jake Pentecost, Newton would be placed in the secure room used for quarantine. He would have a bed, a toilet, and not much else. A large one-sided mirror would allow for 24-hour observation. 

It was all Hermann could do for now. He practically moved into the observation room. He worked there, took his meals there, and fell asleep in the uncomfortable chairs on more than one occasion. He refused to leave unless it was absolutely necessary. He would be there when Newton eventually woke up. 

Hermann hadn’t realized how hard it would be when he finally did. 

When Newton sat up for the first time looking bleary and confused, Hermann had to be pulled away from the locked metal door. He only stopped arguing when he heard Newton’s muted voice through the mirror. Hermann hadn’t heard that voice since Newton’s hands at his throat. He remembered the desperate sadness in those green eyes, and he can see it on the other side of the mirror now. 

Muted conversation turned into heated arguing when Newton sat back on the bed and appeared to have some kind of fit. He clutched at his head, and the PPDC officials pointed and said the influence must still be there. Hermann couldn’t help himself. He yelled and carried on. He will make them understand. 

He paused when he heard Newton say his name. Newton started babbling about his old coat; the one Hermann used to wear at the Hong Kong Shatterdome. He turned to the mirror and forcefully said that he’d be going into the room. Maybe not today, but nothing they could do will stop him. 

Hermann pressed his hand to the glass and tried to let Newton know that he’s here and that he will be from now on. He held back the sob when Newton touched the glass exactly where his own hand rested. Hermann pretended that they can see each other. He didn’t move from the glass until Newton went back to the bed and slept. 

Hermann ignored the arguments that were thrown his way over the next few days. They told him that they shouldn’t be encouraging Newton to remember anything. It’s too risky. Everyone was better off if he remained a blank slate for them to rebuild. Hermann ignored them. He didn’t care if he had to smuggle Newton off base and to some secret hideaway. He’s not going to let this opportunity slip away. He’d be enough this time. He had to be enough. 

But first, he has a parka to find.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sitting in my OneDrive for months and finally remembered to post it. Thanks for reading!


End file.
